THE SUPER BOWL....an experience like no other. A time when true football fanatics gather together to celebrate the culmination of a 6 month journey. For the lucky few, a chance to cheer their team to the ultimate title. For the rest of us, just another excuse to throw a party, eat poorly and consume various beverages of choice. In the past, Super Bowl Sunday would have found me lost in the reverie of the day with family or friends sucking down all sorts of delectable and unhealthy treats, as well as, consuming some sort of empty caloric beverage. Oh, how the times have changed! This year, I chose to control the environment in which I watched the game. I made decisions that would have positive instead of negative effects and created a situation that was much more conducive to the choices I am trying to make each day. By focusing on the potential problem areas I face and making better choices I am hopefully redefining the patterns/habits that have created the destructive moments in my life.
Now, I am not saying that I only ate carrot sticks and salad for the game, I did enjoy a traditional Super Bowl staple...chicken wings, but I grilled them on my own grill/smoker and was able to control both the seasonings and the use of excess oils. I also made my own dipping sauces so that I could regulate the amounts of fat, sugar and salt. The end product was quite enjoyable. I really did not miss the excess that I usually take in and the WATER that I drank made for a nice refreshing beverage. The best part of the evening was that I spent it with my beautiful family. I even had the opportunity to read stories with my 5 year old during halftime and got to say goodnight and offer sweet dreams to my 3 year old. It was also a lot of fun hanging out with my 15 month old son, who was much more energetic and enthusiastic about football than he was as a 3 month old last season. The night was capped with a restful evening with my wonderful wife. All in all, I would have to say that this may have been the most enjoyable Super Bowl in years. It didn't hurt the the Packers beat the Steelers, which as a lifelong Cincinnati Bengals fan is almost as enjoyable to watch as the Bengals winning themselves....almost!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
The Evil Empire.....Girl Scouts of America!
(DISCLAIMER: Let me begin by saying that the title of this post is of course completely tongue-in-cheek. GSA is an incredible organization that provides wonderful programs for young women and truly assist in helping create positive attitudes and diligent work ethics in each of its members. Should my two daughters choose to become members of this great organization, I would gladly and proudly sign them up!)
Now, back to the Evil Empire.....
It is that time of year again, the time when the calendar rolls into February and the GSA roll out their most successful and diabolical money making plan ever. According to http://www.scribd.com/, "75% of all Americans and 80% of all parents purchase items from fundraisers." Selling goods to family and friends is a highly effective way to raise funds for any group or organization. The need to support and assist the ones you love far outweighs your need for edible goodies or miscellaneous items that will probably either never see the light of day in your home, or will some day eventually be re-gifted to someone else. Don't lie, you know you have done it! Most organizations hit you with a direct "shock and awe" form of attack. This can be accomplished by telephone, like the ever so sweet, but annoying students who continuously call me at 7:30 pm to ask if I would like to donate money to my Alma Mater. Don't get me wrong, I am a huge supporter of my university, however, the money I spent while both an undergraduate and graduate student should count for something in the record books of charitable giving. Another successful ploy is the ever so popular "door-to-door" sales approach. Bright eyed young people showing up on your doorstep so early on a Saturday morning that your brain has in no way engaged enough with the world to act as an appropriate liaison between you and the young boy or girl. This phenomenon is so dangerous that you may find yourself purchasing large quantities of doughnuts, cleaning supplies, of holiday knick knacks before you can even correctly remember your name.
The Girl Scouts deploy a much stealthier form of attack. Not only do they get you with a truly high quality product....if you have never eaten a frozen THIN MINT cookie, you have not truly lived, they also intelligently choose the most strategic places to set up their command centers, so as to provide maximum selling potential. (i.e. grocery stores, schools, offices, etc...) However, the most unassuming, yet effective weapon employed by this "Great American Super Power" are its soldiers. The beautiful, shining, mesmerizing faces of these young ladies is enough to bring complete civilizations to their knees. Walking up on a group of uniformed sprites with their blithe attitudes and piercing cuteness, the average American becomes weak in the knees and unless properly trained will fall prey to the well crafted attack every time.
This year I vowed to be strong and fight the good fight in order to overcome the gravitational pull that I seem to have to these delectable sweet sensations. I was prepared, poised, focused, trained and ready for the fight.......I LOST! Seriously, turning down one of these kids is like going into a pet store and walking by a puppy, kitten, bunny, baby chick and pony, (I know you don't find ponies at pet stores, but you get the reference) and not taking at least one of them home. Well, even though I lost the fight and bought some cookies (9 boxes, don't judge, I plan on sharing them with others...maybe...no really....I'll share...probably...????????), I made some wonderful little girls happy and hopefully did my part to teach the future leaders of America that hard work and determination pay off....and it doesn't hurt to have a great smile!
Now, back to the Evil Empire.....
It is that time of year again, the time when the calendar rolls into February and the GSA roll out their most successful and diabolical money making plan ever. According to http://www.scribd.com/, "75% of all Americans and 80% of all parents purchase items from fundraisers." Selling goods to family and friends is a highly effective way to raise funds for any group or organization. The need to support and assist the ones you love far outweighs your need for edible goodies or miscellaneous items that will probably either never see the light of day in your home, or will some day eventually be re-gifted to someone else. Don't lie, you know you have done it! Most organizations hit you with a direct "shock and awe" form of attack. This can be accomplished by telephone, like the ever so sweet, but annoying students who continuously call me at 7:30 pm to ask if I would like to donate money to my Alma Mater. Don't get me wrong, I am a huge supporter of my university, however, the money I spent while both an undergraduate and graduate student should count for something in the record books of charitable giving. Another successful ploy is the ever so popular "door-to-door" sales approach. Bright eyed young people showing up on your doorstep so early on a Saturday morning that your brain has in no way engaged enough with the world to act as an appropriate liaison between you and the young boy or girl. This phenomenon is so dangerous that you may find yourself purchasing large quantities of doughnuts, cleaning supplies, of holiday knick knacks before you can even correctly remember your name.
The Girl Scouts deploy a much stealthier form of attack. Not only do they get you with a truly high quality product....if you have never eaten a frozen THIN MINT cookie, you have not truly lived, they also intelligently choose the most strategic places to set up their command centers, so as to provide maximum selling potential. (i.e. grocery stores, schools, offices, etc...) However, the most unassuming, yet effective weapon employed by this "Great American Super Power" are its soldiers. The beautiful, shining, mesmerizing faces of these young ladies is enough to bring complete civilizations to their knees. Walking up on a group of uniformed sprites with their blithe attitudes and piercing cuteness, the average American becomes weak in the knees and unless properly trained will fall prey to the well crafted attack every time.
This year I vowed to be strong and fight the good fight in order to overcome the gravitational pull that I seem to have to these delectable sweet sensations. I was prepared, poised, focused, trained and ready for the fight.......I LOST! Seriously, turning down one of these kids is like going into a pet store and walking by a puppy, kitten, bunny, baby chick and pony, (I know you don't find ponies at pet stores, but you get the reference) and not taking at least one of them home. Well, even though I lost the fight and bought some cookies (9 boxes, don't judge, I plan on sharing them with others...maybe...no really....I'll share...probably...????????), I made some wonderful little girls happy and hopefully did my part to teach the future leaders of America that hard work and determination pay off....and it doesn't hurt to have a great smile!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Working out with Rocky....
During my workout this morning, I was listening to one of my favorite playlists. I just recently received an iPod from a friend and have finally joined the 21st century. This particular playlist includes the songs from "The Rocky Story," a collection of songs from the various Rocky films. I enjoy this music because it really motivates me to push harder during my workout. I mean, how can you not work out harder when you are picturing Rocky trudging through the Russian snow in preparation for the fight with the indestructible Drago! As I worked trough the muscle pain and discomfort, I began to listen and focus on the lyrics of the song, "No Easy Way Out." This Robert Tepper song contains a very poignant message, for me at least, which speaks towards the importance of pushing through the difficulties and struggles in order to reach the goals you set for yourself. I will not transcribe all the lyrics so as not to break any copyright laws, but I will include a few of the lines that really spoke to me today.
"We're not indestructible, baby better get that straight..."
"Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die"
"There's no easy way out, there's no shortcut home"
"Baby, baby we can shed this skin, we can know how we feel inside. Instead of going down an endless road, not knowing if we're dead or alive."
As I pushed through the workout, each of these lines struck a chord in my heart and made me focus on the reason I was there. This morning I had an argument with myself about getting out of bed. I literally had to tell myself several times to "GET UP! GET UP! GET OUT OF THIS BED!" Listening to the song made me proud that I listened to myself and that I had gotten out of bed. As I worked, I looked at my reflection in the window in front of me and was moved almost to tears. Feelings of sadness, frustration, apathy and dejection were overtaken by feelings of hope, joy, pride and encouragement. I know that "some things are worth fighting for" and I know that "I can shed this skin and know how I feel inside." I know that I am no longer heading "down an endless road" and I acknowledge and accept that "there is no easy way out and there is no shortcut home"...you know, I am OK with that!
Thanks Rocky!
"We're not indestructible, baby better get that straight..."
"Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die"
"There's no easy way out, there's no shortcut home"
"Baby, baby we can shed this skin, we can know how we feel inside. Instead of going down an endless road, not knowing if we're dead or alive."
As I pushed through the workout, each of these lines struck a chord in my heart and made me focus on the reason I was there. This morning I had an argument with myself about getting out of bed. I literally had to tell myself several times to "GET UP! GET UP! GET OUT OF THIS BED!" Listening to the song made me proud that I listened to myself and that I had gotten out of bed. As I worked, I looked at my reflection in the window in front of me and was moved almost to tears. Feelings of sadness, frustration, apathy and dejection were overtaken by feelings of hope, joy, pride and encouragement. I know that "some things are worth fighting for" and I know that "I can shed this skin and know how I feel inside." I know that I am no longer heading "down an endless road" and I acknowledge and accept that "there is no easy way out and there is no shortcut home"...you know, I am OK with that!
Thanks Rocky!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, I made it out of bed and to the gym this morning before heading off to work. It felt good to get up and follow through with a plan of action and not allow myself to make excuses that would have allowed me to stay in the comfort of my bed. Getting to the gym at 5:45 and working out actually was quite enjoyable. I was able to get in a decent workout and get to my job on time while feeling much more awake and prepared for my day. I am not sure what the future holds for the stability or frequency of this routine, but for today....I WIN! Neither, Fear nor Apathy played a role in keeping me from my goal, and the success I felt as I was at the gym far exceeded the other feelings that I have allowed to hinder my progress. Hopefully, today becomes the "norm" and the "old" routines will fade away....it all depends and me....I now understand and accept this personal ultimatum.
On an encouraging note....when I arrived at work, I went to weigh-in to get a base weight for the month of February and much to my surprise and delight...I lost 9 pounds in the month of January! Current weight is 311...12 more pounds and it's HELLO 200's! I CAN"T WAIT!
On an encouraging note....when I arrived at work, I went to weigh-in to get a base weight for the month of February and much to my surprise and delight...I lost 9 pounds in the month of January! Current weight is 311...12 more pounds and it's HELLO 200's! I CAN"T WAIT!
Sunday, January 30, 2011
A Still Small Voice....
We hear the voice of God in so many ways each and every day! Yet, many times we miss it because it is such a "still small voice" that our daily lives get in the way of truly paying attention to the many ways God avails himself to us. This morning I was focused enough to hear that voice in the words of my 5 year daughter. She had climbed into our bed around 6 this morning and was relaxing as the day was beginning. Around 7, she leaned over and whispered in my ear that it was time to get up, she had a surprise for me. I rolled out of bed and, quite sleepily, followed her downstairs, ever so quietly, so as not to wake up the other members of our family who were still fast asleep. When we reached the living room I asked her what was the big surprise, to which she replied, "Daddy, the doctor says that is is good for you to exercise, so I thought I would help you this morning!" She then proceeded to lead me in an exercise routine that she had learned in her gym class at kindergarten. It wasn't the hardest workout I have ever been through...but it was by far the best! What a blessing it is to have such a wonderful daughter and such a loving God!
Ephesians: 1, 2a, 8b, 10...Be ye therefore imitators of God, as dear children; and walk in love as Christ also has loved us...now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light: proving what is acceptable unto the Lord.
(This is the verse(s) we have painted on the border of our nursery...it took on a whole new significance for me today!)
Ephesians: 1, 2a, 8b, 10...Be ye therefore imitators of God, as dear children; and walk in love as Christ also has loved us...now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light: proving what is acceptable unto the Lord.
(This is the verse(s) we have painted on the border of our nursery...it took on a whole new significance for me today!)
Saturday, January 29, 2011
FEAR
Recently, I have been working in therapy on discovering just what it is that seems to keep me from making the progress I desire in my physical struggle to become healthy. In my head, things seem to be going very well. I have my emotions in check for the first time in many years. I no longer feel the need to please everyone around me in order to make myself feel important and needed. I have developed some very effective strategies to assist myself in handling situations that once would have driven me to a very unhealthy level of frustration and anxiety. Each of these areas of my life seemed to fall in place very quickly as I focused, confronted and dealt with them directly and effectively. I have become quite adept at pinpointing problem areas in my life and quickly assessing just how to take care of them......SAVE ONE! Even though it seems that I have a knack for verbalizing the issues and problems surrounding my weight loss...I can't seem to take those words and put them into action. FRUSTRATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My therapist and I have discussed the idea that "fear" is playing a very big role in this roadblock....fear of what is still a bit of an enigma! I do admit that some of the fear that exists stems from the feeling that I will work diligently to reach the goals I set for myself and in doing so, will push myself to an emotional limit that is both obsessive and exhausting! Each of the times in my life that I have seen noticeable results in weight loss has included both of these attributes. Unfortunately, as one can see from the creation of this particular blog, the longevity of these successes has been a bit short in tenure. Past experiences show that once I reach a place of comfort and joy, I fall right back into the destructive habits that have existed for years. Reaching my desired weight and watching it disappear yet again would truly be a proverbial "nail in the coffin" for me this time around. The real questions appears to be..."WHY DO I FEAR THAT THIS SCENARIO WILL AVAIL ITSELF ONCE AGAIN?"...that is the part that perplexes me. I know I have the ability, the desire and the will to be successful, yet I still meander in a pattern of sterility and stagnation. I have heard the expression...JUST SHUT UP AND DO IT...and wish it were that simple. As a believer in the existence in the ONE TRUE GOD, I acknowledge that, as 2 Timothy 1:7 proclaims, "For GOD hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." Maybe therein lies the real problem...I FEAR! In all my life I look to my God and Father to be my sufficiency in all things and yet in the most challenging aspect of my life...I have yet to allow my God the opportunity to be a part of the solution. I constantly seek to create the situation to fit what "I" feel is the right path and do not take a moment to seek assistance from the "ONE" in my life that truly has the power to destroy this fear and really help me. I allow this issue to be senses driven and not spiritually driven.
I Peter 5:6-7 tells us to "Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in do time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." It appears that the time for me to humble myself and to actually act upon my belief is long overdo! It is time that I cast this care and let go this fear so that I may enjoy the "more than abundant" (John 10:10) life that is available for me to enjoy! It is time that I truly "listen and obey!"
My therapist and I have discussed the idea that "fear" is playing a very big role in this roadblock....fear of what is still a bit of an enigma! I do admit that some of the fear that exists stems from the feeling that I will work diligently to reach the goals I set for myself and in doing so, will push myself to an emotional limit that is both obsessive and exhausting! Each of the times in my life that I have seen noticeable results in weight loss has included both of these attributes. Unfortunately, as one can see from the creation of this particular blog, the longevity of these successes has been a bit short in tenure. Past experiences show that once I reach a place of comfort and joy, I fall right back into the destructive habits that have existed for years. Reaching my desired weight and watching it disappear yet again would truly be a proverbial "nail in the coffin" for me this time around. The real questions appears to be..."WHY DO I FEAR THAT THIS SCENARIO WILL AVAIL ITSELF ONCE AGAIN?"...that is the part that perplexes me. I know I have the ability, the desire and the will to be successful, yet I still meander in a pattern of sterility and stagnation. I have heard the expression...JUST SHUT UP AND DO IT...and wish it were that simple. As a believer in the existence in the ONE TRUE GOD, I acknowledge that, as 2 Timothy 1:7 proclaims, "For GOD hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." Maybe therein lies the real problem...I FEAR! In all my life I look to my God and Father to be my sufficiency in all things and yet in the most challenging aspect of my life...I have yet to allow my God the opportunity to be a part of the solution. I constantly seek to create the situation to fit what "I" feel is the right path and do not take a moment to seek assistance from the "ONE" in my life that truly has the power to destroy this fear and really help me. I allow this issue to be senses driven and not spiritually driven.
I Peter 5:6-7 tells us to "Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in do time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." It appears that the time for me to humble myself and to actually act upon my belief is long overdo! It is time that I cast this care and let go this fear so that I may enjoy the "more than abundant" (John 10:10) life that is available for me to enjoy! It is time that I truly "listen and obey!"
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
A Love/Hate Relationship with.....THE GOLDEN ARCHES!
Recently, I have found myself drawn back to the allure of a previous "mistress." This enchantress seems to cast a blinding spell over me from time to time, causing me to sneak around, act secretive and create alibis so as not to blow my cover and expose my "affair." This temptress knows just what to do and say to break down all my defenses and lure me back into a destructive relationship like "a moth to flame." This is a relationship that has gone on for over 30 years and is one I truly "hate" to "love". I speak of course of that eating establishment made famous by a clown and a pair of golden arches. Seriously, I am an intelligent guy, I went to college, I watched "Supersize Me," I know what eating the food from this place can and will do to me and I know that as someone who is trying to make a significant change in my life, that a complete and total break in this relationship is crucial.....I JUST CAN'T HELP IT! (Whiny, satirical voice implied) It is hard not to want those juicy, cheese-covered, bacon topped burgers and those crispy, salty fries! It is difficult to bypass that sweet, caffeine-filled, effervescent fizzle of an ice cold Dr. Pepper. I try to be "good" and stay away, but like a fly who just saw three of his buddies electrocuted by the enticing blue glow of the bug zapper, I push forward and give in to those deep urges...feeling ever so guilty along the way. Most of the time I look around, hoping that I won't see someone I know, anticipating that at any moment my cover will be blown and a camera crew for the show "Cheaters" will pop out as I am licking a stray glob of ketchup from my lip and ask me "What are you doing?" and "Does your wife know about this relationship?"
Unfortunately, sometimes she doesn't know....no one does! I have honed my craft as a "closet eater." I have perfected my abilities to consume an entire meal and avoid detection. I keep paper towels, plastic bags, body spray, mouthwash and other masking agents in my truck to aid in the keeping of my secret. I have literally walked in the house without a shirt on to hide the drop of mustard I spilled in a moment of carelessness. I have actually eaten two dinners on many occasions to keep up the appearance that I was truly hungry. I have lied to and knowingly deceived people I love. I have avoided questions and curbed the truth enough to dodge awkward moments and have even denied knowledge of happenings to keep my secret safe. I don't want to do that any longer. As an over eater, my choices are often driven by my physical desires for the food I know is bad for me and also by the social/personal desires to appear strong and confident, even when I am at my weakest. I want to be strong, because I am strong, and not just appear that way. By confessing some of these behaviors, my hope is that I will not have to keep them hidden within me, that the truth will set me free and act as a reminder that I can be strong and brave and make good choices. I can drive by these restaurants that have controlled my life for so long and just smile and continue on my path to health and happiness. I also hope that if there is someone else out there who has done or continues to do these things, that my honesty and vulnerability will act as encouragement to break the cycle of lies and remove the chains that bind them to a life of secrets and self-destruction. I hope that this will be the first of many "true confessions" about the life I have chosen to live and the life I now choose to be rid of, once and for all.
Unfortunately, sometimes she doesn't know....no one does! I have honed my craft as a "closet eater." I have perfected my abilities to consume an entire meal and avoid detection. I keep paper towels, plastic bags, body spray, mouthwash and other masking agents in my truck to aid in the keeping of my secret. I have literally walked in the house without a shirt on to hide the drop of mustard I spilled in a moment of carelessness. I have actually eaten two dinners on many occasions to keep up the appearance that I was truly hungry. I have lied to and knowingly deceived people I love. I have avoided questions and curbed the truth enough to dodge awkward moments and have even denied knowledge of happenings to keep my secret safe. I don't want to do that any longer. As an over eater, my choices are often driven by my physical desires for the food I know is bad for me and also by the social/personal desires to appear strong and confident, even when I am at my weakest. I want to be strong, because I am strong, and not just appear that way. By confessing some of these behaviors, my hope is that I will not have to keep them hidden within me, that the truth will set me free and act as a reminder that I can be strong and brave and make good choices. I can drive by these restaurants that have controlled my life for so long and just smile and continue on my path to health and happiness. I also hope that if there is someone else out there who has done or continues to do these things, that my honesty and vulnerability will act as encouragement to break the cycle of lies and remove the chains that bind them to a life of secrets and self-destruction. I hope that this will be the first of many "true confessions" about the life I have chosen to live and the life I now choose to be rid of, once and for all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)