Friday, July 8, 2011
Two steps forward....Three steps back!
Today I feel like the old me...someone who is easily frustrated, irritated and unwilling to compromise. I feel that I have made progress in the past year, however, I do notice that old personalty traits do pop up from time to time and drive me a little bonkers! I know I am suppose to roll with the moments, recognize them, analyze them and deal with them...today has not been one of those days. Maybe it has to do with the fatigue of the week...both physically and emotionally...or maybe I am not as strong and collected as I have convinced myself that I am. Maybe I am weak....in body and mind! I am not losing weight like I should and I have been more resentful of others lately. Instead of enjoying the successes that I have...limited as they seem right now, I am being driven by the utter failure that my weight loss and personality changes are making me feel right now. Yes, I realize I am having a huge pity party right now, but it is what it is! Hopefully, a week away from things and spending some much needed time with my family will help me reposition my perspective. The intelligent and well-adjusted part of me knows that this is just an emotional reaction to a stressful situation and that everything will level out and I will learn from today, but the less evolved portion of my physche just doesn't seem to care! Guess I should try and take another two steps forward......I hate this feeling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I want you to stop and think about something: "Are you wanting to lose weight or live a healthy lifestyle?" The people who love you love you for who you are, not for what you look like. If you can get certain parts of your body healthy (ie: LDL, HDL, Cholesterol, Blood Pressure, Triglycerides, etc) does loosing weight really matter? Here's the thing that I have seen from reading your blogs (Which I do religiously). You set goals for yourself that are truly hard to attain, and then you get frustrated because you don't achieve them. (I know the feeling, because I do the same thing!) Now, should we be 300 lbs.... no. However, the stress that comes with not losing weight and the feeling of failure and self-guilt that we both have during these times is far worse for us than the actual weight we carry. I'm not saying to chuck it all, grab the Rocky Road, and go to town. Baby steps are still steps. If we want to make lifestyle changes, they need to be subtle changes and not drastic all at one time. Baby step 1: Portion control. (Healthy food isn't healthy when we eat two plates of it!) Baby step 2: Cut out snacking on the drive home and late at night. Baby step 3: Dessert 3X a week instead of everyday. (These are examples...not requirements.) You can't do it all at once. Most importantly, remember that if you focus your energy on the important things: The amazing wife who married you while you were fat, the 3 fabulous children who love their fat daddy, the family who has never seen the pounds...just the love you give, the athletes and students who idolize you, and the twin brother who looks up to you in all things, the weight will take care of itself. Remember...being healthy is the goal. Being skinny shouldn't be. Cut down the trees so you can truly see the forest. I love your fat behind! (I would love to talk to you about this on our drive to G-boro on Monday.) You equally fat, yet truly supportive twin brother! I LOVE YOU!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the perspective...you know I love you with that special twin love that only we understand. I am trying to keep myself focused on making the little things more important. I really enjoyed our talk on Mom's dock...it helped me focus on some important things and begin to let other less important things go. You have such a great view of your life and I appreciate and repsect that more than you know. I do want to be healthy, so I can live long and enjoy the great life I have. I guess if it takes years to achieve that instead of months...I can learn to accept it. Love you brother!
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