The Evil Empire.....Girl Scouts of America!

(DISCLAIMER: Let me begin by saying that the title of this post is of course completely tongue-in-cheek.  GSA is an incredible organization that provides wonderful programs for young women and truly assist in helping create positive attitudes and diligent work ethics in each of its members.  Should my two daughters choose to become members of this great organization, I would gladly and proudly sign them up!)

Now, back to the Evil Empire.....

It is that time of year again, the time when the calendar rolls into February and the GSA roll out their most successful and diabolical money making plan ever. According to http://www.scribd.com/, "75% of all Americans and 80% of all parents purchase items from fundraisers."  Selling goods to family and friends is a highly effective way to raise funds for any group or organization.  The need to support and assist the ones you love far outweighs your need for edible goodies or miscellaneous items that will probably either never see the light of day in your home, or will some day eventually be re-gifted to someone else.  Don't lie, you know you have done it!  Most organizations hit you with a direct "shock and awe" form of attack.  This can be accomplished by telephone, like the ever so sweet, but annoying students who continuously call me at 7:30 pm to ask if I would like to donate money to my Alma Mater.  Don't get me wrong, I am a huge supporter of my university, however, the money I spent while both an undergraduate and graduate student should count for something in the record books of charitable giving.  Another successful ploy is the ever so popular "door-to-door" sales approach.  Bright eyed young people showing up on your doorstep so early on a Saturday morning that your brain has in no way engaged enough with the world to act as an appropriate liaison between you and the young boy or girl.  This phenomenon is so dangerous that you may find yourself purchasing large quantities of doughnuts, cleaning supplies, of holiday knick knacks before you can even correctly remember your name.

The Girl Scouts deploy a much stealthier form of attack.  Not only do they get you with a truly high quality product....if you have never eaten a frozen THIN MINT cookie, you have not truly lived, they also intelligently choose the most strategic places to set up their command centers, so as to provide maximum selling potential. (i.e. grocery stores, schools, offices, etc...)  However, the most unassuming, yet effective weapon employed by this "Great American Super Power" are its soldiers.  The beautiful, shining, mesmerizing faces of these young ladies is enough to bring complete civilizations to their knees.  Walking up on a group of uniformed sprites with their blithe attitudes and piercing cuteness, the average American becomes weak in the knees and unless properly trained will fall prey to the well crafted attack every time. 

This year I vowed to be strong and fight the good fight in order to overcome the gravitational pull that I seem to have to these delectable sweet sensations.  I was prepared, poised, focused, trained and ready for the fight.......I LOST!  Seriously, turning down one of these kids is like going into a pet store and walking by a puppy, kitten, bunny, baby chick and pony, (I know you don't find ponies at pet stores, but you get the reference) and not taking at least one of them home.  Well, even though I lost the fight and bought some cookies (9 boxes, don't judge, I plan on sharing them with others...maybe...no really....I'll share...probably...????????), I made some wonderful little girls happy and hopefully did my part to teach the future leaders of America that hard work and determination pay off....and it doesn't hurt to have a great smile!