FEAR

Recently, I have been working in therapy on discovering just what it is that seems to keep me from making the progress I desire in my physical struggle to become healthy.  In my head, things seem to be going very well.  I have my emotions in check for the first time in many years. I no longer feel the need to please everyone around me in order to make myself feel important and needed.  I have developed some very effective strategies to assist myself in handling situations that once would have driven me to a very unhealthy level of frustration and anxiety.  Each of these areas of my life seemed to fall in place very quickly as I focused, confronted and dealt with them directly and effectively.  I have become quite adept at pinpointing problem areas in my life and quickly assessing just how to take care of them......SAVE ONE!  Even though it seems that I have a knack for verbalizing the issues and problems surrounding my weight loss...I can't seem to take those words and put them into action.  FRUSTRATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My therapist and I have discussed the idea that "fear" is playing a very big role in this roadblock....fear of what is still a bit of an enigma!  I do admit that some of the fear that exists stems from the feeling that I will work diligently to reach the goals I set for myself and in doing so, will push myself to an emotional limit that is both obsessive and exhausting!  Each of the times in my life that I have seen noticeable results in weight loss has included both of these attributes.  Unfortunately, as one can see from the creation of this particular blog, the longevity of these successes has been a bit short in tenure.  Past experiences show that once I reach a place of comfort and joy, I fall right back into the destructive habits that have existed for years.  Reaching my desired weight and watching it disappear yet again would truly be a proverbial "nail in the coffin" for me this time around.  The real questions appears to be..."WHY DO I FEAR THAT THIS SCENARIO WILL AVAIL ITSELF ONCE AGAIN?"...that is the part that perplexes me.  I know I have the ability, the desire and the will to be successful, yet I still meander in a pattern of sterility and stagnation.  I have heard the expression...JUST SHUT UP AND DO IT...and wish it were that simple.  As a believer in the existence in the ONE TRUE GOD, I acknowledge that, as 2 Timothy 1:7 proclaims, "For GOD hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."  Maybe therein lies the real problem...I FEAR!  In all my life I look to my God and Father to be my sufficiency in all things and yet in the most challenging aspect of my life...I have yet to allow my God the opportunity to be a part of the solution.  I constantly seek to create the situation to fit what "I" feel is the right path and do not take a moment to seek assistance from the "ONE" in my life that truly has the power to destroy this fear and really help me.  I allow this issue to be senses driven and not spiritually driven. 

I Peter 5:6-7 tells us to "Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in do time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you."  It appears that the time for me to humble myself and to actually act upon my belief is long overdo!  It is time that I cast this care and let go this fear so that I may enjoy the "more than abundant" (John 10:10) life that is available for me to enjoy!  It is time that I truly "listen and obey!"